There are some difficult life problems that we wish we had special magical buttons to help solve. Unfortunately, there is no such thing. But some psychological tricks can help you deal with difficulties, fix your relationships with other people, and find peace of mind.
In order to have support from someone in the future, ask them for a small favor today.
Once upon a time, Benjamin Franklin decided to win the trust of a person that didn’t like him. This person could have an influence on his political career and had a huge library. Franklin wrote a very polite letter where he asked the man for a favor — to lend him a rare book for a couple of days. The book was sent immediately. Soon after that, the famous politician returned it with a thank-you note. And the next time they met, the book lover approached Franklin and they became friends.
As the politician wrote in his autobiography later, “someone who once did something nice for you is more likely to help you again later.” This is the point of the effect. How can you use it in real life?
You can ask a person you barely know for a small favor. For example, ask them to borrow a pencil or a pen. After this, the chances that this person will do something bigger for you are way higher. And if a colleague dislikes you, you can ask them for their opinion on some important matter. This will be a good foundation for your future relationship.
Use just one word to find out if someone likes you or not.
You don’t need to ask a direct question to find out if a person likes you or not. All you need to do is choose a specific word and every time the person says it or its synonym, you can nod and smile. If the person likes you, they will start using this word more and more often.
Chew bubble gum to calm down.
According to scientific research, this process decreases the level of cortisol (the stress hormone) dramatically. There are several possible explanations for this. One of them is that the blood rushes to the head and you become more relaxed. Another says it is because of our pleasant associations with food and chewing that make us happier and calmer.
Besides, chewing gum can help distract us and get rid of bad habits like eating when we are stressed or biting our nails.
Offer someone 2 options to get what you want.
If you need a person to choose or do something that they don’t really want to do, just ask the right question. Don’t ask them if they will do it or not. Instead offer them 2 options.
For example, you need to get a report from your colleague. Don’t ask them if they will bring it or not. Ask them when they can give it to you: tomorrow or in a few days.
This is how people feel that they are important and gain the illusion of control over a situation.