Children haven’t had enough time to learn the laws and rules of this world which is why they make up their own. For example, read the story about the glasses that cost $400 but got thrown away by a kid because “they were dirty” or the one about children who only pick up the toys they want to keep. Each of these stories is absolutely mind-blowing but totally true.
- I was in the kitchen and I heard the conversation between my wife and my daughters (ages 5 and 7).
Wife: Collect your toys right now or I’ll throw them away!
7-year-old to the 5-year-old: Mary, let’s go and collect them. Leave the ones you don’t need on the floor.© Kuzmich52nn / Pikabu
- Daughter: Where is the donk?
Me: What donk? You mean, donkey?
Daughter: Yes, the brown one.
I started remembering all of her toys. She didn’t have a donkey.
Me: Is that your imaginary friend?
Daughter: No, he’s real. He’s brown. Where is he?
Me: We don’t have a donkey.
Daughter: We do. He’s got ears like a hare!
Nonsense. A brown donkey with hare-like ears. My wife figured it out. Meet donk. © LooLooJ / Pikabu
My daughter (almost 6 years old) did a thing. She made a quest, collected older kids around. The kids were doing what she told them and when all the tasks were completed, the kids wanted more. And she said in a tired voice, “You’ll get more tomorrow. For money!” © zhekaural / Pikabu
- I’m writing a condolence card. Gregory (5) asks what I’m doing. “I’m writing a note to say how sorry I am that my friend’s mom died,” I say. He pauses for a VERY fraught moment and then asks oh, so tentatively, “That’s just to be kind, right? You’re not the one who did it?” © Miriel Thomas Reneau / Twitter
- We can’t find my 6-year-old’s glasses. Today we asked him where they are. He said, and I quote: “I threw them in the garbage yesterday, the lenses were dirty.” $400, see ya! © jessemodz / Twitter
- My wife has an album with our photos from before we got married. We were very young. We were sitting and remembering the past when our son (5 years old) pointed at one photo and said,
— “Dad, when did you take this one?”
— “It was a long time ago before I met your mother.”
My son froze for a few seconds and said,
— “So, you weren’t related to us in the past?” © entonee / Pikabu
- 8-year-old: I’m mad.
8-year-old: I DON’T NEED A REASON. © XplodingUnicorn / Twitter
- 2-year-old eating his lunch: “Papa’s coffee hot?”
Me: “Yeah baby, it’s hot, don’t touch.”
2-year-old: “Me blow on it for Papa?”
It was at this point I witnessed with horror, my 2-year-old’s attempt to blow on my freshly made coffee, only to spit a half-eaten chicken nugget straight into it… © papaneedscoffee / Twitter
- When my son turned 1.5 years old, I stopped using a stroller. It was too hard to use it, the doors were narrow, and it was really heavy. My son could walk a lot and could easily walk for 5 hours a day. When he was 2.5 years old, I took him to a store that was 2 miles away. He never complained. 1 year later, when he was 3.5 years old, he said, “Mom, I’m tired.” I asked him, “How? Before, you walked this distance easily and never got tired!” He looked at me and said, “I couldn’t speak.” © Bakkara / Pikabu
- My 6-year-old: “I shared candy with 3 girls: Katy, Mary, and myself!” © Annypooh / Twitter
- Once, I was at a museum of modern art. I was so interested that I decided to read the comment book there. The most interesting comment I found there was written by a child. It said: “Why are your drawings so bad?” © Tonybonelli / Pikabu
- Relativity theory from my 6-year-old daughter:
Her: Mom, come to me.
Mother: You come to me.
Her: You’re closer to me than I am to you. © dum7 / Pikabu
- My sister has a son and a daughter, they’re twins. I think they were around 5 years old at the time. After surgery, my sister couldn’t eat any fried, smoked, or spicy foods. In general, she supports the idea of healthy food only, so no salami or things like that. Her son is okay with that but her daughter really craves things like this.
They were walking on the street and she had an idea for lunch:
— “I’ll make you some fried potatoes.”
The son heard the name of his favorite food and ran to his mother saying, “Mommy, thank you so much! I love fried potatoes! I’ll finally have some!”
And then her daughter says, “Mom, can we have some salami too? Maybe just a small piece?”
Everyone at the playground froze… All the mothers had judgemental looks on their faces — they thought my sister wouldn’t give her kids food. © crazyEmpress / Pikabu
- My mom called me yesterday and she wanted to talk to her grandson. I gave my son the phone and he was surprised and asked, “Who is it?” I told him it was his grandma and she wanted to congratulate him on Children’s Day. He was shocked and yelled into the phone, “I’m not a child anymore!” He gave me back the phone and went to his room. I told my mom, “Sorry mom, your grandson is a grown-up, self-sufficient 6-year-old man.” © Palata № 6 / vk
- My daughter loves wet cat food. How am I supposed to save face when at the store she asks, “Can you buy a pack for me? Please! It’s so good!” © Rijuh / Pikabu