How often do you think that you would get your dream job and have a better life if you were a more confident person? Not everyone is born with confidence, but you can develop it.
1. Learn to accept compliments.
Everyone reacts to compliments differently. Some people become shy and even draw attention to their flaws. This is the wrong way to react to compliments and it shows that a person is not self-confident. Besides, it might sound like you don’t really value the opinion of the person who gave the compliment in the first place.
The best way to react to a compliment is to smile sincerely and say, “Thank you.” Don’t assume that a person is trying flatter you, just try to believe that some of your qualities may really seem attractive to other people.
2. Don’t try to be perfect.
Let’s say you have a very tight schedule: 20 phone calls, 10 meetings, reading and replying to emails, and not a single non-effective minute to yourself. But instead of being satisfied, you always feel disappointed because the results are not good enough, right?
When you set goals that you can’t possibly reach, you are moving toward anxiety, not success. Successful people also make mistakes and regret some of the decisions they make. But they see lessons in all these situations and are able to learn from them.
3. Learn to maintain eye contact during a conversation.
You can detect the mood and the emotions of a person by looking into their eyes. Babies look into their parent’s eyes in order to understand their emotions starting at the age of 9 months. And liars usually look away, in order to hide the fact that they are lying.
When someone avoids eye contact, it means that they are not self-confident. So, maintaining eye contact with people will help you to win their trust and convince them that you are honest.
4. Keep your back straight and change the way you walk.
A straight back, open gestures, and a confident walk — these are all signs of a confident person.
So, keep your head raised, keep your back straight, and look up, instead of down. People around you will notice this and you will soon see that you feel different. Research shows that the body language of a confident person decreases their level of stress.
5. Exclude negative thoughts.
Controlling your internal dialogue is a difficult but very effective way to discipline yourself. Try to track all the thoughts you have for a week. And write down everything that is connected with being insecure. Ask yourself this question, “Do I have any evidence that I have a real reason to be insecure?” After you analyze your thoughts, you will realize that most of them are based on nothing.
As you’re analyzing the negative you should also make a list of your positive qualities and achievements. You can read it every time you have a negative idea in your mind.
6. Notice the moment when you stop believing in yourself.
If you keep track of the bad thoughts, you will soon notice that they appear in your mind at pretty much the same time. Maybe you’ve had a wonderful day but before you go to sleep you start thinking about something bad.
Just try to ignore these thoughts and just consider them something you do every day for no reason.